1. Buying some-one a drink is five times better than a handshake.
  2. If some-one offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade.
  3. Persons drinking a pint of Guinness before it has fully settled will be immediately barred.
  4. Anyone on stage or behind the bar is 50% better looking.
  5. Telling lies is unacceptable, you may however grossly exaggerate.
  6. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
  7. If you hesitate more than 3 seconds after getting the bartender’s attention, you do not deserve a drink.
  8. If you buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
  9. If you buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still may not like you.
  10. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

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